I spent many years seeing a therapist discussed many different topics and concerns that I have in life. Whatever the topics were… my therapists would go through similar process: 1. Incidents that triggered certain reaction or emotions 2. What and where those reactions and emotions derived from 3. What do I need to do with that.
Many of the odd reactions and emotions I have towards certain incidents that may be far different other people’s normal reactions have a lot to with experiences I had because of my face. I spent many years going back to the source of the feelings instead of keep finding instant resolutions.
During these process there were times where I would both ask my therapist and myself as well to focus on my feelings and what it means to me rather than focusing on the details although common sense or the first instinct is to think that getting to know all the details would actually help t o understand better.
Knowing and identifying what holds you back is certainly important steps to freeing yourself from them. However, the more I seek for happiness and independence from my pains and memories it matter less and less to me how severe my memories and pains were. It’s more important to know where I am now. Doesn’t matter how relatively more harsh or severe your memories and pains are to others. If it’s something that affects your life now that is yours and it’s more important to take ownership. It’s okay that you cannot handle something. It’s okay that it takes bit longer to deal with some memories. You have rights to your pains no one should tell you what less traumatizing or more.
Your own healing process…… making peace with you… forgiving you…. loving you…
Hang in there…. when you look back one day you’d know how far you have come. 
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