August 27th (Tuesday)- August 30th (Friday)
4 days and 3 nights- One of the longest hospital alone since being an adult.
Every visit and sickness leave me with certain mixed feelings.
Bitter Sweet. Angry Happy. Feeling Loved – Lonely.
One day you feel like telling the whole world what you are going through…
One day you feel like nobody cares…
One moment you want to have all the people around to stay with you but one moment you want to know you can do it alone.
Going through sickness is no fun for anybody. Going through about 30 years.. yeah.. not fun. However, somehow, I found the way to make it fun. That doesn’t mean I am less sick, annoyed, upset or depressed even… Trying to make the best of things and also trying to be honest with me about how I feel.
My mother offered to come up to New York to take care of me. She offered her place in Delaware to rest and that she would cook good for me. I kindly turned the offer down. One of the reasons or excuses was I am bit jumpy and sensitive right now.
The truth is.. after 30 years… it’s not that comforting to watch mom still taking care of me. It’s not the same comfort like when I was 5 year old girl anymore.
Made seaweed soup for myself. It’s something my mother would have made for me. Something I made for her on her birthday. (It’s a Korean tradition)
With all the mixed feeling, I just thought … I am going to simply thankful about friends and family for the love and care.
I am going to simply say that yeah being sick sucks! and Hell ya, I am moody & cranky! And bugging out !!!!
I am simply ME!
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